Boho Girl

This is my last post in this dreamy space. I honor how it has cradled and carried me.

My loves…I have a new h{OM}e.

Come, sit on the blanket of my fae field of dandelions. Waiting for you is a cup of earl gray tea with a touch of lavender, honey and cream. Inhale…make a wish on a dandelion, exhale…there your wishes go, dancing into the sky waiting to be born.

Mmmmm. Hope to see you there.

Love,

Denise

clearer, self portrait

The past few weeks I’ve felt clearer than usual. I think its a combination of things: An awareness that this year, new age marks a greater consciousness for us humans. I have felt it in the streets and in stores when out and about. A bit more kindness and softness. More smiles and warmth exchanged. A deeper gratefulness to be here. People seem less afraid to engage in conversation. In fact just a second ago, a lovely woman sitting near me at the coffee shop leaned over and asked me a few questions. She didn’t really feel like a stranger. A barista brought me my drink and he said giggling “Here’s your foggie!” in reference to the London Fog steaming in my mug. We both laughed. It was such a kindred thing to say! Something I would call my drink. This is what I mean about not being strange-ers. I just feel this Universal shift of oneness. Perhaps just on a small scale right now but I have hope that these vibrations will expand out to all humanity.

Speaking of this gig of Being Human, today I read this…

poem by Rumi

Oh how this brought a newish clarity to me, even though this awareness and wisdom has lived in my heart over the years as I’ve navigated some ache from relationships. Recently, I felt it fully sink in on a deeper level. I needed this shift in perspective of feeling wounded to feeling grateful for that ache, pain, separation, rejection, whatever it may be between me and another human that didn’t go as I had longed or hoped.

“Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

Our pain and sorrow, our hurt…it offers us compassion for those around us that may be going through something similar. It give us an opportunity to love deeper and wider…ourselves and others. It brings us to our knees so that we can reMember our strength to stand and be brave in allowing others to help lift us. So much, so much! Our pain and sorrow are gifts. Sometimes I grasp this concept immediately and the healing moves faster through my body, my heart. Sometimes, depending on the layers, it can take days, months years for me to recognize fully why I am grateful something happened the way it did.

But now I have Rumi to remind me.

And in that pain, when in the thick mucky gook of it, when we find ourselves in a spiral, there is goodness in that too.

The other day, I reached out to a friend spilling some anxieties and fears, knowing my thoughts were completely unraveling and out of my control in the moment, I said “These feelings are so unfamiliar. Am I spiraling?”

And she sent me this passage…

passage from Jack Kornfield in his book After the Esctasy, the Laundry

I felt myself lay back, arms wide open…fully embracing the spiral because spiraling is human and we all do it and how healing, how validating is it to just surrender? Surrender to the dance with an awareness that we will eventually come back to our center? And in that returning to center, we will be fuller and wiser? Sigh. Good good stuff.

“In the course of this great spiral,
we return to where we started again and again,
but each time with a fuller, more open heart.”

Mmmmm…I wanted to share these nuggets with you as they were shared with me. They offered me compassion and patience, surrender and relief for mySelf, for others and especially for those “guides” that come into my life. ; )

Just wanted to share some images of the last few weeks. Really sinking into this season. Cocooning within the warmth of our home. I am so dearly in love with our sweet little Christmas tree. Its my favorite of all.

Been preparing our hearts and home for our dear brother (Boho Brother) to come out for two weeks with his love. It will be my first time meeting her in the flesh. Such a special time with them as we get to share Solstice, a full moon, Christmas and New Years together!

Omi left a few days ago and was here for a week. We are so grateful how our family is so sensitive to Cedar’s need for less crowded spaces. At my sister’s farm during Thanksgiving, we were given a huge beautiful room upstairs to go to when he needed quiet and my mother in law opted to come out earlier in December so that Cedar would have more space throughout holiday visits. I am moved to tears by our family and their support this year.

I would love to hear your plans for Solstice, Christmas and New years.

{my boys in tickle love}

I just finished packing our bags for a long weekend in Victoria, BC. Our honey*moon spot. The place we go each Summer because we are drawn to its beauty and energy. And the healthy food and yerba mate latte’s are divine! ; )

Before I head out for respite and play, I wanted to come here to express my gratitude for the comments in my previous post. Gratitude for the rainbow of love, support, wisdom, websites, books, videos and most of all your own stories so bravely, vulnerably and gorgeously told. Talk about WHOLEistic goodness!! My husband and I have been truly awed. We’ve had to read just a few at a time, marinate in them and savor the nuggets that feel right for our hearts. I am so often brought to tears at the community of beautiful hearts that are attracted to this space and how it feels safe for not only me but for all those who feel inspired to share their own unique voice. Its such a deep and soulful practice: Hearing, listening to our own intuition while honoring wisdom from those that care deeply for us. We feel so very blessed.

Love and light to each of you this weekend. Get some good ol’ tickling in!

Words are not finding me this week. I am just feeling so present in my world. Perhaps these images express the gratefulness my heart is beating to.

{the darling blonde girl is our next door neighbor. we joke about cedar someday serenading her at her upstairs window. but seriously…their cuteness together is melt worthy}

our apple tree

A dear friend guided me to this and it moved me so much that I wanted to share it with all of you…

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
~ Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

I am sitting in gratefulness for the apples I have tasted.