Boho Girl

This is my last post in this dreamy space. I honor how it has cradled and carried me.

My loves…I have a new h{OM}e.

Come, sit on the blanket of my fae field of dandelions. Waiting for you is a cup of earl gray tea with a touch of lavender, honey and cream. Inhale…make a wish on a dandelion, exhale…there your wishes go, dancing into the sky waiting to be born.

Mmmmm. Hope to see you there.

Love,

Denise

The sun is beginning to break through our gray skies. Sometimes even for a whole day and the blossoms crave it wildly. They stretch their pedals wider and faster than I have ever seen. Growing up a California girl (living in both Northern and Southern), the Sun was always out to play but here in the Pacific Northwest, its so precious and flora grows at a speed that is so foreign to me. One day there will be a fully green bush, the next day it will be covered in blossoms. Its awe inspiring to witness.

Flowers are making their way into my home by way of sweet children these days. The neighborhood girls had a flower stand the other day with fresh cut branches and flowers around their home placed in vases to sell on a table in front of their house. It was the sweetest sight and two of them came to my door with a bouquet that Boho Boy had bought for me. Cedar has learned his daddy’s romantic ways. Most every time he goes outside to play he runs inside “Mommy, this is for you…” with a handful of cherry blossoms scrunched in his palm or dandelions and sometimes rocks, leaves and rose pedals. When he goes down to our bay, he fills his pockets with shells and sea glass and feathers. We have a woven tray to keep his treasures (photo above) and I’ve been inspired to create beauty in our home from them.

My boys and I are blossoming in this home and for quite some time I’ve not allowed myself to believe that these yellow gables and lush land could be ours. My twenties and thirties were full of so much uprooting that I didn’t even consciously realize how used to being unattached to people and things I became. I knew I’d be leaving soon or at least I felt so much a gypsy that if leaving wasn’t in the plans I knew it would be. I giggle as I write this because it makes me think of the film Chocolat. I resonate with Vianne in many ways. I think this is why online connections felt safer for me. For many reasons but one important one being I could stay connected regardless where I lived. I have lived here in Bellingham for almost two years and I am just now it seems allowing myself to sink in some roots. We just recently made a decision that we would love to purchase this home and because both my husband and I are gypsies, it took us almost losing it to come to that decision. We didn’t consciously realize we were not fully rooting until the possibility to root ourselves was swept under are feet.

I was standing out front of our house in the middle of the street last night with some neighbors who are becoming quite close friends of ours. We were out there, huddled close with our children getting soaked by the rain (unexpectedly) and my heart felt so full. I hadn’t realized I was keeping my friend at arms length. She lives next door and is a dream and yet I was afraid to get too close. She’s been very patient with my heart.

beautiful charity and us following our children on a forest path up the street

Now that we are staying, I feel all of this release…in so many ways, this openness and yearning to give of myself (and receive) to that which surrounds me, both in and around my home and with those souls that dwell here. None of this even felt conscious until we decided to root ourselves in this home. Its almost as if a veil has lifted.

With our landlord living next door, I haven’t felt the freedom to make this land my own and have not done much to it yet. But now that we will purchase this home, we are so inspired with ideas. I haven’t gardened much (aside from planting lavender in the ground last year at the blue house). Up until now I have only planted in pots. I have so much to learn! But our dream is to plant a veggie garden, herb garden and arbors with ivy and flowers growing up and around it. I am not one to be attracted to manicured pieces of land. I love the wild and overgrown yet a lot of tender care. Our landlord said for years she has wanted to impart her wisdom onto someone and I told her I am her gal.

If any of you are familiar with this climate and have wisdom to offer about gardening, I am all ears (and heart).

Mmmmm…h(OM)e sweet h(OMe). Is this really happening?

red barn lavender farm

When I was in my late twenties, I lived in downtown Pleasanton (Northern California).  It was an old house turned into 4 apartments.  I lived in the one at the top and directly across from me was my best friend from younghood.  She was newly married and looking for a place to live and as soon as that spot opened up, I was on it.  It was our dream.  We had always joked about living near one another the rest of our lives, literally next door…so we were able to live that dream for a good year or so.  Often as we were bustling about getting ready, we would open the door and say good morning, have a little chat, close the door, begin our days.  I remember clearly one time she had wanted to show me the first published copy of Real Simple magazine.  I had just got one too and was thrilled about this new magazine.  There we sat on the bench seat between our apartments, flipping through our copies.  What drew us in the most was the cover page.  It was a lavender farm somewhere back East.  The four or so page spread was about a couple who were deeply entrenched into the corporate world, wealthy and living a gorgeous life in the city.  But they began to feel a bit empty and decided together to take a leap, leave the corporate life, as well as their finely coiffed home and buy a farm in the country.  Their little green cottage sat in the middle of massive amounts of lavender.  In their workshop, they made lavender-everything to sell in their darling little store.  People would come from miles away to walk the fields and pick their own bunches. Amy, my friend, and I sat and dreamed about what that would be like.  The image of their cottage surrounded by lavender made such an impression on me.  I think of it so often and have since been attracted to lavender and dreamed of planting loads of it near my home.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I heard from our local friend Forest that he met the owner of a similar lavender farm about 20 minutes from here.  For months I’ve wanted to go and for some reason it never worked out but finally, FINALLY was able to go when my sister was here last week.

When we pulled up, it was utterly dreamy. The couple that owns the farm were walking down their lavender draped hill with a wheel barrow full of multi colored purple bundles they had just picked and tied. They waved to us with their garden gloved hands and pointed where we should park. Each of them greeted us with gentle smiles. We got a bit of a tour and the history. The gentleman went on to share that there were many species of lavender plants and the light pink ones were the most fragrant and the ones most used for essential oils in products. I had no idea there was such a thing as light pink lavender! It ended up being my most favorite.

So we were handed scissors and ties and sent off to walk the fields and cut our own bunches. Cedar was so enchanted. Especially at the bees and how gentle they were. I caught him crouched down observing their dance on the flowers. At one point he went off by himself to a patch of dirt and when I approached and sat near him, I noticed he planted a lavender stem into the ground. “I’m planting more, mama”.

The energy in those fields was so tranquil and lingered with us. The drive home was lavender scent soaked and my sister hung our bunches on a string above the kitchen table. Now over a week later, I have placed the dried lavender in our old vintage bottles and mason jars scattered throughout the house.

Boho Boy and I are now dreaming up our own hill of lavender behind our house. I had a wee bit of practice at the blue cottage. If any of you have tips on growing lavender, I am all ears.

Notice the light pink beauties on my shelf?

From blue house to yellow house we go!!

Also wanted to share an interview I did this week here.

Blessings.

{her beautiful book, all photos in this post are by susannah}

7-ish years ago, I remember laying with Susannah, side by side, my limbs curled up to her limbs, dreaming about how her journey through grief and healing needed to be put out into the world. I knew from her first brave blog post that her stories would be beautifully bound for many to hold in their hands and press gently against their hearts. Yes, a book that all who knew and loved her were certain she needed to write. And she did. And its here. And its launched! And my happiness for her is permeating from me.

Susannah has done a fun and exciting blog book tour (before she goes on her in the flesh book tour) and this space of mine is one of her stops. We decided to do a Skype interview to share a bit about her book with all of you but rather what ended up happening is us dancing down memory lane. We decided to go with the flow of our conversation and keep it down to earth, real…because that is truly the energy and vibe throughout her whole book.

In this clip, we talk about how we first met and how that was the catalyst to her beginning her own blog and how the healing process of writing and sharing her self inspired the beautiful journey she is living.

{here is the post Susannah refers to when she reached out to me the first time}

My heart feels full. As I said during our Skype session, it has been such an honor to witness her unraveling from the very raw beginning of days until the present. To witness her channel her grief, healing, self discovery and creative awakening into inspiring others to find their own way has been one of the most sacred gifts in my life. I feel a bit like a proud sister and with a lump in my throat and such deep love in my heart for her, I encourage each of you to pour through her pages. What I love most about this journey for Susannah is she never pretends to have arrived. Through her teachings and inspirations, she is constantly right beside all of us, learning and growing as she continues to unravel just like me and you.

You may order the book through Susannah’s website by clicking here. There are links on the page to Amazon (US, UK and Canada), Barnes & Noble and Chapters. Her book is also available at your local bookstore. Other places you can connect to Susannah is on her website, her ground-breaking e-courses, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram.

I remember this moment (above) when I crouched down behind these wild flowers and watched my boys inhale and exhale, gaze in silence and honor the stillness that lay before them. I remember thinking that this sometimes is what prayer and giving thanks to us has become.

what my boys were seeing.

I read this quote today that really moved me deep…

“The primary purpose of prayer is not to make requests. The primary purpose is to praise, to sing, to chant. Because the essence of prayer is a song, and man cannot live without a song.” ~ Abraham Joshua Heschel

Many people I know (me included) can at times be uncomfortable with prayer or meditation. Sometimes we just don’t know where to start, especially if long periods of time have passed. Sometimes we imagine it needs to be about wanting or needing something and that can often lead to guilt. But what seems to lend such freedom to it all is that prayer doesn’t have to be about a long list of needs or wants and meditation doesn’t need to only be about emptying our mind. I believe so strongly that it can simply be a form of release and connection. A song. A chant. A humming. A silence. A gaze. To the One your faith, your spirit and your own unique heart song wants to connect with. And ah yes, we as living beings do need song. Whether it comes from the root of our belly and out our mouths or if we are listening and connecting to it through another source. Mmmmm…and to open up our minds to see and feel this as prayer. It all just makes so much sense to me.  It seems less complicated, more simple and a beautiful and safe place to start.

Requests and wishes are also human nature. Today I came across this image I took a few weeks ago and had an idea to use it as a sacred opening here in my space for those who need to make a wish. Close your eyes, what comes to mind? It can be grand or simple. Selfloving or selfless. I have always felt it was so important to put a voice to our wishes and dreams. If prayer and meditation is mostly about song, then these sweet dandelions can be about wishes. Because we need those too. ; )

My wish for today: That the darling family we connected with end up moving into our home when we move next door. Its in the works and we are all hoping it comes together with the landlord & property management company. I am learning what it is to have community with neighbors. Its one of the reasons we moved here and it is changing my life in very unexpected ways.

What is your wish?