marinate

(about)

My story begins with my parent’s love affair, a beautiful red headed French Canadian woman who fell in love with a handsome, olive skinned Portuguese marine. Together they traveled west, settling in Northern California, where their lives began with raising three little girls. I am their third…

We grew up in a conservative household, my mother raised catholic, and my father’s military background. We became born-again Christians….the love of Christ was so heavily present in the way we lived: My sister, a youth pastor, I was in the children’s ministry- and my time away at Bible College… it was heart soaked and guided me away from drugs, sex and alcohol at too young of an age. It was the first space I really learned to honor and respect myself and my body.

That foundation of love and compassion that I gained led me to venture out on my own, exploring my unlimited heart. Exploring faith and spirituality. Finding myself- and what all of this meant to me. My quest is pure, personal, and sacred- and mostly, my quest is full of compassion and love for every faith and walk of life. What I carry with me now is that I cannot attach a label to my spirituality.

My thirst for exploring didn’t stop with faith and spirituality. I suppose I’m the free-spirit of my family, easily restless. A seeker; for new experiences, for knowledge, for the world… A deep thirst to connect with as many people, places, and stories as I could. I began traveling and discovered my gypsy roots, moving along- soaking up as much wisdom and beauty from the people I came across, and the adventures I indulged in. My late twenties and early thirties were the years of discovery. Discovering all that I could be, and all that I wanted to be… and I wanted to be a great many things. Try everything once. Live to the fullest. My gypsy heart was certainly not ready to commit to one thing, one location, one destiny.

Soon, my path led me to my very own Gilbert Blythe (whom I’d wished for as a child watching Anne of Green Gables). This tall Canadian boy caught me off guard… I was in love. He was passionate and sincere, and opened me up to pieces of myself that I so wanted to connect with. He encouraged and supported me, to begin exploring my creative side- with a gift of a Sabrina Ward Harrison Workshop.

This workshop led me to circles of creative women, all chiming their soulful voices and wisdom. Soaking each other up and allowing hearts to spill. A tribe that opened new paths for me… and there, I was introduced to the world of Blogging.

During this time, I was dabbling in design school- where my teacher pulled me aside and shared her vision with me- that I had more of myself to give than designing rooms. She gave me the permission I needed to be honest with my art and myself. With new found confidence, an open heart, and the support of my husband- I left school, my corporate job and began my creative journey by starting my own business: Bohemian Girl Designs. First, I designed necklaces- but soon found my real passion in photography.

As I immersed myself in photography, my husband and I began our journey to conceive a child. It was long and heartbreaking, and beautiful all at once. I needed an outlet for all the grief I was feeling- and was encouraged by my tribe to start a blog. And so, I began to write. It was so very raw and open, pouring these deep rooted desires and heartaches, along with images from my lens. This was my therapy, and soon- people on the same journeys discovered my words and images.

People from all walks of life with their own grief connected with me. I connected with women in a way that I never have before. My heart cracking open inspired others to be as raw and honest… I was awed, humbled, and the healing began. I learned that being fully authentic has no shame.

My art of photography continued to be a source and outlet for me. A vintage-esque and ethereal style emerged, aligning with the softest parts of my soul that surfaced from the pain of (in)fertility. I discovered that while photographing artists- my art and heart really came to life. I shouted it out to the universe ‘I want to photograph artists only!’ Claiming that passion; claiming myself; giving myself permission, opened the flood gates for artists to find me, to connect and discover each other.

Throughout this journey, Bohemian Girl Designs became Boho Photography and my life, my blog and my art blossomed into a Boho Girl brand.

At the end of 2008, our baby found us. Cedar was brought into our lives by an open adoption. We were blessed enough to be present at his powerful birth, where we were changed forever. He is the spirit baby that kept us moving towards finding him, never giving up or losing hope. He was such a gift at the end of a bittersweet fertility journey.

Desiring so much for my body to be fertile while on a quest to unite with my child, I discovered I was fertile and full of my own nourishing soul nectar: Fertile in my passion, art, love, spirituality. Fertile for LIFE and trying new things and finally, fertile with my heart – expanding and growing and shaping a new life entirely. Letting go and giving way to what was in store for me. Opening myself up to healing, as others felt healed along the way.

photo by tara whitney

By currently writing a book about my journey and soon teaching an ecourse online, my hope is to inspire others to discover that their own lives are beautifully fertile and abundant with nectar from their soul.