Boho Girl

{my favorite feather, given to me by Rain. it reminds me that it is okay to need softness in my life}

As I sit here at my desk facing the window and little rain drops lightly fall onto the glass, I am feeling a deep peace. This peace comes from a dear friend reaching out and sending me a poem that spoke deeply to my heart. So deeply that I feel it puts words to the journey I am currently on and it puts an end to my quest to find the words, to name it. That is a weight lifted. As I read it tears fell and I whispered “yes…that is it. every. single. word.”

I wanted to share it with hope that you to may find comfort in these words as well.

A BLESSING FOR ONE WHO IS EXHAUSTED::
by John O’Donohue*

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.

You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.

At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.

{thank you, kirsten. i love you.}

{scarves worn by me, cedar and eugene the snowman were made by my sister Pamela. fingerless gloves from sundance}

I have only been in the snow a handful of times in my life. The first time I touched snow I think I was about 5 years old. We lived in the bay area in California near San Francisco, so it was a very very rare thing to happen in our neighborhood. But it did. Once in the 25 years that I lived there. I think we went up to the snow in Nevada once as a family (we were more about Summer camping in the woods). And with my girlfriends, I went up to Tahoe a few times, trying to learn how to ski and failing miserably. Then once in Tahoe with my boyfriend in my late twenties, to learn how to snowboard. Ouch. But fun. Especially because that day the sun came out and it was surreal to be snowboarding down a hill with the sun shining on my face (when it wasn’t planted in the snow). When I lived in Dallas for four years in my twenties, it lightly snowed once and was only on the side of the road in dirty chunks. The last time I saw snow was in Victoria, B.C…when my husband and I went there for Thanksgiving the year before Cedar was born. To soothe our achy hearts. It was an unexpected snow storm and we were held there a few days longer (darn) and many stores closed down because they were not prepared (they had one snow plow in whole city). I sat up on the window seat on the 3rd floor of our hotel watching the snowflakes for hours. It was so meditative for me.  It moves me into a safe cocoon.

All this to say, snow is so very precious to me. And I really know nothing about how to live in it, which my husband finds amusing since he grew up with snowed in winters in Ontario, Canada. Last week, we were so blessed to have a handful of days blanketed in snow. We hear that snowfall that actually stays on the ground in our seaside village is a rare thing, so we marinated in it deep. It was such a dream for me…to see neighbors sledding down our street at night. And us as a family sledding down a hill at the park down the street. Boho Boy teaching us how to make a snowman and then me noticing snowmen on every corner. It was surreal, really…and perfect for what I needed.

Being “snowed in” is a bit how I feel right now. Even though the snow has melted. I am pulling in deep and feeling the permission to do so without guilt. There are a lot of emotions I am sitting with, a lot of transition and transformation going on inside of me. I haven’t been able to put it into words but I feel the words coming. Just being in it is what I have allowed to happen. Not really naming it but just letting whatever it is move through me. There has been a lot of change for me in the past few years and with it, I have changed and I am now beginning to find my footing so that I can walk forward into my Heart Quest. I have more to share on this. And perhaps even a video of some good stuff that is coming in my life.

The sun just came out through the window, brushing the side of my cheek. The sun. Another rare thing in these parts during this time of year. I better step outside, breathe deep and drink up its medicine.

“gratitude can transform
common days into Thanksgivings,
turn routine jobs into joy
and change ordinary opportunitites
into blessings.”

~william arthur ward

This gratitude journal is designed to last throughout the year. Each day there is a place to write five things you are grateful for.

Professionally printed on 60lb cream paper, the gratitude journal is 5″w x 8″h. It is a soft-bound book that feels much like a paperback novel. The inside page features the above quote from William Arthur Ward. There are three options for you to choose from, each features an original photograph by Amy Gretchen on the cover. You can choose between the beach fence, the mushrooms, and the spider web. Or, perhaps you will want one of each as they are beautiful gifts. Also, these are timeless as they do not have the year imprinted on them; the days of each month are simply numbered.  You can find these beautiful journals in the Squam online store.

The Squam staff put together a sweet little video to show you what a beautiful practice the keeping of a gratitude journal can be…(this is my dear friend Elizabeth in the video.  Creator/Director of Squam).

A few things to keep in mind:

• Shipping and handling: Journals are made to order, and will begin to arrive in mid-February.
• Orders must be received on or before January 31, 2012.
• We are HAPPY to ship internationally, please contact Michelle directly for details & rates: michelle@squamartworkshops.com
• These journals are exclusive to squam, which makes them one-of-a-kind collectibles, but this also means that they will not be available again.

GIVEaway Rules:

• Includes one gratitude journal for one of my readers (whichever cover they prefer)
• To enter leave a comment (one comment per person, please)
• In the comment, please tell us one thing you are grateful for so far in 2012
• Winner will be chosen at random
• Comments will be closed at 10pm PST Sunday, January 22nd
• Winner announced Monday, January 23rd

{some scenes from my sister’s farm at christmas and traveling to and fro}

So much swirling around in my world. All heart stuff. Nothing flashy. Just really simplifying my life and what I am surrounding myself with. I am off to northern california yet again tomorrow for a few days. Our first family therapy session. Hold us in your hearts. I am scared, excited, nervous, oh so many things. This is good, so good…a very long process beginning now. I surrender to it all. Everybody just wants love and to be loved good.

More soon.

dear deer,
so grateful for all you teach me.

xo,
boho girl