finally able to hang the hammock we’ve had all these years
I’m moving so much slower these days, folks. Not in a lethargic way. But in a peaceful way. After so many years of yearning, stretching, reaching, going, wanting, I am finally being still. My mind feels quieter, simpler. My heart feels less complicated. I didn’t think this was possible and I am not questioning it too much. But everything feels more fluid and our rhythm feels soft and lazy and in the moment. At first it felt foreign to me, like I was missing something and I ached, perhaps even grieved the noise that used to be inside of me but I think I was detoxing and now I am feeling more cleansed and open and able to hear the bird songs and gaze into a neighbors eyes longer and be perfectly fine observing Cedar in his world without needing to upload the photo immediately to the internet. Just simpler. Pausing. Listening. Stillness.
I told a friend this week that I think this is meditation for me. I thought I would come here and just devour the wisdom the Pacific Northwest had to offer but I notice rather than harvest it all, I am sitting with it, being IN it…and letting it speak to me slowly. One voice at a time. One plant at a time. One flower at a time.
cedar gathering our flowers in a mason jar
I went on a walk today with a few neighbor ladies. Twice my age. Sage’s, they are. One of them took me through her enchanting over grown garden. She showed me how to dig a plant and re-plant it. She showed me which flowers of hers I could take to my yard. A young man came out from behind her house and she introduced me. Told me she just met him today at a pizza place and he was new in town and needed some work. He had kind big blue eyes and unruly blond hair. He reminded me of Cedar and how he may be when older. I invited him over to our place to show him what is growing around us and how I plan to plant tons and tons of lavender. I feel connected to lavender. I want it everywhere. He had just spent some time with a lavender farmer at the market. It was serendipity.
lavender we just planted on the side of the house
He sat with us and shared his vision of sustainable communal living while sitting on our front lawn in lotus position. My husband was laying in the hammock nearby, listening. Cedar was rolling a ball over to him while he talked. He offered to help us with our gardening. And I just found my heart full. My phone wasn’t near. My laptop tucked away upstairs. For a second, I felt what it was to be living a life how it would be without technology and I wanted more of it. What would that be like? To just be so fully available to what is in front of you? I think I have felt so distracted for so long and now there is so much clearing. I am pondering it all.
My sister is coming tomorrow for a week. I am hoping being here is as healing this time as it was last time for her.
Sending each of you stillness. Om. One love.