Boho Girl

Just want you lovelies to know that Lisa Loeb is now selling frames! I know…so fun, right? We all coveted her glasses in the 90′s and now she’s finally come out with her own line. I lost my glasses ages ago and have neglected to get a new pair. Now my eyesight is more messed up, so I am making an appointment with an eye doc SOON to fill these cute frames. The ones I just got in the mail are called Truthfully (and funny enough, that is the name of my favorite song of hers).  My sister also got a pair called Hello Lisa.

The photo above is me wearing my new frames but I couldn’t take off her name on the glass.  ; )  Perhaps we should all walk around with little affirmations on our glasses anyways.

Wishing all of you a wild, calm, free, chill, love soaked weekend.

xo

Cedar does this so often. He wants me to sit and watch as he runs down a hill, towards me, then on top of me…to end with a mini boy hug (aka wrestle on the ground). I thought it would be fun to capture it today.

Lately I have discovered the wonder of audio books. Since Cedar came into our lives, I have not had the attention span, nor the time, to sit and read a book. I can skim through it quickly or jump around only to read a few sentences before I end up falling asleep or distracted in some way. I don’t know why it took me so long to come up with the idea of listening to an audio book while doing chores or hanging with Cedar. It’s brilliant!!! And I love that he is being read to as well. Although, the one I save for his nap time is “Connection Parenting…Parenting through Connection Rather than Coercion and Love instead of Fear” by Pam Leo.  Oh man, this one is full of wisdom that wraps around my heart and hugs it tight.  I find myself weepy while doing laundry and picking up his toys from ideas that resonate so deeply with me and also comfort my inner little girl.

So far, here are a few gems that I wrote down.  Will share more soon…

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“We are less likely to pass on our past hurts to our children when we do our own healing work.”

“Once we understand that uncooperative behavior is a communication of a child’s unmet need, a hurt, or a response to an adults unrealistic expectation, we do not have to take the behavior so personally.”

“We create a strong bond over time when we lovingly and consistently meet our child’s needs.”

“When we learn to relate in ways that show children that their needs and feelings matter,  we strengthen the bond and avoid power struggles.”

“Very young children learn conflict resolution when we model it.”

“We teach children that every one’s needs are important by honoring their needs.  From our example, they learn to honor other’s needs.”

“Children are delightful to be with when their needs are being met and nothing is hurting them.”

“Whenever a child responds negatively to a reasonable request,  we look for a hidden hurt or the unmet need.  Once we acknowledge every one’s needs, we can work on problem solving.”

“I’ve learned to say…‘When you behave that way, I know something is wrong.  We love each other and people who love each other don’t treat one another this way. Can you tell me what you need or what is hurting you?’  If I can remember to stop and ask that one simple question, it changes the whole concept of the power struggle.  That question communicates “I love you and what you feel is important to me.”

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Such good stuff…and really resonates with my soul.  I find myself so much more present with Cedar these days.  So much more forgiving of myself in those moments when I am more reactive and then I hold him and talk with him about it.  I feel as though my mind and heart are opening wider to who Cedar is and what triggers him and how I can do my best to create an environment where he feels seen and heard and loved consistently.  Right now this mama business is SO my greatest teacher.

Totally and completely mesmerized by this music video.  Wanted to share with you.

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

Boho Boy’s Tabbouleh

Boho Boy makes this for us every week and is now going to start making a huge bowl every Sunday so we can munch on it all week long. It is DELICIOUS, although by the combination of ingredients, some may not think it sounds so. Trust us! My hubs made a big batch for my family at my marmie’s house during Thanksgiving. My father practically licked his bowl and he is SO picky about raw veggie type dishes. It is so so good for you. Parsley helps to cleanse out the toxins in your kidneys…which is what Boho Boy needs right now. We all need it. ; )

He doesn’t follow measurements, so I will do my best to write it down in recipe form. We love to eat it with a grilled cheese sandwich (I know, not so healthy) and hummus. Or, I like to stack two corn tortillas, smear pizza or pasta sauce on top, sprinkle it with goat cheese and heat it up like a pizza.  I then cut them into triangles and dip them into the tabbouleh with hummus (like you see in photo above…YUM).

He has always chopped everything really fine. The last time he did it (in photo above) he tried making it chunkier, which we loved just as much and noticed it lasted longer. So, the chopping size is up to you!

The good stuff:
2 large bunches (or four small bunches) of fresh organic parsley
1 sweet yellow onion chopped
1 medium organic cucumber chopped into tiny cubes
4 stalks organic celery chopped
2 large (or 3 medium) tomatoes finely chopped
1/4 cup fresh mint finely chopped (optional)
4 cloves of garlic crushed
2 cups cooked and cooled Quinoa* (we cook it an hour before and lay it on a cookie sheet to cool)
*Quinoa is for gluten free peeps. Bulgar wheat is typically used or couscous if you don’t want to do gluten free.

Dressing (you’ll have to guess on this one. its a huge bowl and we like ours drenched so each forkful is tangy goodness)
olive oil
lemon

Spices:
garlic salt (or sea salt and garlic powder)
tajin

Directions:
Chop the veggies and put in large bowl (make sure you will have room to toss, so I suggest your biggest bowl).
Slowly toss in (already cooled) Quinoa
Slowly toss in crushed garlic
Sprinkle in a bit of garlic salt (or sea salt and garlic powder)
Sprinkle in a bit of Tajin (i like a lot of this!)
Slowly pour in dressing and toss (taste to make sure if you want more olive oil and lemon)

*Serve with hummus and your favorite kind of bread or sandwich or quesadilla or whatever cheesy bready thing sounds good. I dip my grilled cheese or mini pizzas or quesadillas into the hummus and then dip it again into the Tabbouleh. Sooooo good.

kris carr’s green smoothies

I read about this smoothie over at my dear friend Susannah’s blog (aka one of my very first blog friends transformed into face to face friend). She interviewed the VERY inspirational Kris Carr (Kris’s story and her healthy ways were so healing to me during my fertility journey). In her interview, she talked about this green smoothie she drinks every morning. I tried it this weekend and LOVED it. I eat an avocado every single day and this is the first time I tried it in a smoothie, believe it or not. Avocados make my skin feel glowy.  Cedar loves them lightly sprinkled with sea salt!  One of the first foods he ever ate.

Kris Carr’s Green Smoothie

Makes enough for 2 people. You can adjust the recipe accordingly. My taste buds are different than yours so don’t be afraid to play!

-1 avocado
-1-2 pieces of low glycemic fruit: we love green apple, pear, berries & cantaloupe
-1 cucumber
-A bit of kale or romaine or spinach
-Coconut water (or purified water)
-Stevia to taste (i used agave nectar)
*You can also add a sprinkle of cinnamon and some cacao.
*You can also use coconut meat or almond butter or nut milk in place of avocado

And the final yum thing:

Here was our home a few days ago…

And here it is sans the couch and replaced with a new Papasan chair from Cost Plus World Market:

Inspired by so many of your comments (and a dear friend who is creating a magical, functional and healing space for their family), we are in the process of transforming our home into a low stress “yes” environment for our Cedar. I’ll write more about that soon.

Last night, I left this in the kitchen for my husband to see when getting ready for work this morning. A bit of the water was gone when I woke up. My belly felt warm inside knowing he had taken a drink before leaving and that Cedar too has taken a few sips.

This Full Moon…She has been healing.  I have felt very connected to Her this month.  Since the decision has been made to postpone my e-course until space opens up in my life to give of myself in that way, I have felt a lightness of being.  This is when I know the  decision was a right one.  Since, I have felt more present with Cedar (read: doing less dishes, laundry and emailing less, more sitting on the floor and listening, playing, communicating, observing).  I have noticed a shift in him as well.  We so pick up on one another’s energy but I think it is more than that.  I think he feels more connected to me now that I am more available to connect with.

I heard something from a friend today that is the embodiment of what is transforming already for me:  When I surrender to motherhood fully and am present to these little ones, it seems like more doors open, more time appears, more creativity flows.  My energy level rises.  When I struggle with it, which is necessary to do and it part of our work, I am blocked and unhappy and tired.

I didn’t realize how much the stress of taking on something that is so huge and important to me was filling up massive amounts of space in my days.  As the stress is lifting, space is opening. I feel it deep and wow, am amazed that I am walking around with a bit more energy and dare I say, inspiration! Cedar even went down for a second nap today. That is UNHEARD of around here.

It is a dear dream of mine to share my story, to gather women, to nourish, to connect and to feel and see the purpose of my journey.  There are more dreams.  I have SO many dreams.  I am a dreamer.  And for five years, I shared in this space another dream.  That dream was to be a mother.  That is one dream I AM living.  So with this one dream of mine to be the mother that Cedar needs, there may be other dreams that will still be in my heart but will patiently wait until I have the time and space to nurture them.  It could be in 6 months or 1 year or even 2 years but they will be given wings to fly.

Last night I brought my bowl of water up to the veranda.  I held it near my heart.  I gazed up at the bright and lusciously full Moon for a long while.  I took deep breaths.  I allowed myself to feel the pull of energy, the vibration and the light.  I looked down at my bowl of water and saw the reflection of the moon dancing in the soft waves.  It was then I noticed I was swaying.  I asked our Moon to bless this water with healing and calm and knowing as my family steps into this new journey:  Cleansing and preparing for an environment that is simpler, quieter and more trusting.

As the Full Moon shows Her brightness, I myself am feeling full inside. Grateful for being honest with myself.  Grateful that my husband was honest with me about his concerns.  Grateful that I have received an abundance of support and gentleness from family and friends.  Grateful for my dreams and how patient they are with me.  Grateful for remembering that I am living one of my most precious dreams.  Grateful it has been revealed to me that it is okay to slow down, to marinate and discover the creativity and coolness of being exactly where I am at today.

I am sipping this Moon Water all day in reflection and feeling these truths sink into my bones.

The other day I was walking on the grass at the park with Cedar. I had my iPhone ready to capture some moments of him during play. I ended up tripping a bit on a wee hole and falling. My phone went flying. I heard the camera go off. This image above is what was captured. The red you see are my favorite pair of pants that I live in. The flare is from the sun. I think you can see a whirl of green grass even.  So much beauty captured before landing to the ground.  Which reminds me of a quote.  “Its the Journey, not the destination…”.

I am sure some of you have sensed by my quietness here and what I have shared that there has been a lot going on with our Boho Family.  Just a lot.  There has been some heavy emotional terrain within my immediate family that my sensitive heart has taken on.  Then there has been Boho Boy and his health not being where he needs it to be with a chronic sinus infection, kidney stones and a bladder infection.  We are information geeks and he is most comfy with holistic treatments, so that takes energy to find what suits his body and to continue to be mindful of what could be causing this for him.  Then there is our precious Cedar and the entrance into his two years on this earth where his body and mind are growing fast beyond his communication skills.  A space where he needs to release all these new sensations physically and emotionally and unless we are fully present, there is an abundance of emotion expressed.  He is our spiritedly passionate, wild, sprite, gnome boy who deeply wants others to be in his imaginary world…right there with him and he senses when we’re not.  ; )  I think because of all this, preparing to uproot ourselves into a new home and a few other things, I feel like I am always on the verge of having a cold.  That achy, tired, sore throaty feeling.  Sometimes it goes away only to come back later that evening or the next day.  Having both Celiac since birth and endometriosis, two auto immune disorders, I know this means I don’t have the most stellar immune system.  Usually when there are big things going on for me emotionally, my body absorbs it and releases it through a bit of illness.   I usually know what to do to prevent such things but with all this whirly stuff going on, I have to be honest in that my focus hasn’t been on taking the best care of myself.  We’ve all been there.  These seasons within our bodies and the ebb and flow of self care depending on how much energy we can give ourselves.  I think those periods of time when it feels this way is called Survival Mode.

So this brings me to my e-course.  My husband and I sat down the other night and got a bit real with something we’ve been trying to ignore.  Registrations for my e-course are coming up and neither one of us feel as prepared as we had planned.  On his end, he is designing a gorgeous feature for my Nectar Girls and has not had enough time to finish it.  He had to take on a few more clients for his database design business in order to build up his clientele for when he goes independent and the work load is greater than he had envisioned.  On my end, with all that has been going on, I wondered how I would guide so many soulful women to get in touch with their nectar, when mine was feeling undernourished.  Throughout my life journey, it has been so important for me to remain authentic and when I teach this course, I need to be in alignment with the truth that I am sharing.  There are so many elements to this course that are nourishing and what I need to do in order to feel in a place to teach is to make them my practice and reconnect with my own nectar.

So many fears surfaced about me postponing my course.  I worried that many of you would lose interest and not be there when I finally felt ready.  I felt a bit like I had failed myself, failed you…and my vision.  The hours following that discussion with my husband, I wasn’t very gentle with myself.  When I get like this, I put a call out to my soul sisters to help me clear the muck, quiet the voices that are false and get back to my truths.  One of them said to me; “I think one of the many reasons so many of us admire you is because you always honor what’s right for you. This is just another example of you honoring the space you are in.” and another said “You are wise and brave and you are teaching more by doing this than you ever could by teaching about nourishment when you yourself were undernourished!” Man, I felt so loved and understood and blessed to be surrounded by gentle teachers.  Their support confirmed so much to me what my heart was aching to say to myself, to all of you.  I just want to always keep it real and I couldn’t pretend in order to live up to what was expected of me.  When I shared it with my sister last night, she said that she had a feeling it would be too much but what I love about her is that she allows me to figure it out on my own. Another friend reminded me of being on an airplane and the flight attendants telling us to put our oxygen masks on first before we put them on our children. I need to breathe first before I can help another breathe.

I also feel so deeply that this journey I am currently walking on will become part of my course.  As I am shifting and evolving through this process, so will what I share with you.  The timing will be just what it is supposed to be.  I don’t know when yet but as soon as i begins to feel right, I will announce the new date.  We are imagining mid Summer, after our move.

Just as in the photo above, the unplanned, unexpected and down right messy can turn out to be quite beautiful because our lives are about the journey and not the destination. This time, this ebb, this mess… is all part of that beauty.