cedar and me doing kissy face, taken with phone

Yesterday felt so romantic with my boy. My wee boy. My lil‘ son (I still get goosebumps saying this).

All day we had the windows open so that the cool, crisp breeze came through. We listened to the album “Now the day is Over” by The Innocence Mission. Very melty. Soft. Dreamy. The kind of melodies that take you away into a puffy cloud way of being.

We danced, holding one another, swaying back and forth. We laid side by side, looking at one another, gazing, smiling, touching foreheads, breathing in one another’s scents.

We went on a walk and stared up into trees. Listened to birds. I love seeing his face light up when a bird flies over him. I am rediscovering the world around me because of his soul.

Then, when I went to check in on him because his nap was way longer than it normally was, there in the dark, in his crib, when I squinted, I saw two huge eyes looking at me. It startled me. Then I realized how very adorable it was. That he was just lying there quietly looking up at the stars (we have a turtle that projects stars onto the ceiling). And I started laughing so hard, which made him laugh so hard. The kind of laughter where you start tearing up because you can’t stop and then when I picked him up from his crib, I held him laughing and then I started to cry. Cry because I love him so, so very much it hurts.

He causes every emotion in me, every day and I appreciate every bitty morsel. Every one. And every bit of him.

The photo above was taken as a picture/text message to send to my family. It was taken in the middle of our long, romantic hours spent together.

He has such a soft, sweet, intuitive spirit for a being so young…and I feel beyond honored to be his mother. I am beginning to grasp that our long journey was to prepare for a very special child. He has plans.